Zombie Fugue Redux

1)
pocketfu: if i'm elected president
pocketfu: i'll put a shotgun and a chainsaw in every home
pocketfu: as well as double-killing all corpses to prevent them from returning
Rocksmysocks711: i'd vote for you. i totally wanted to call someone but i didn't know who. i just listened to the construction workers outside, and figured if it suddenly went silent then there would be zombies...
pocketfu: not true
pocketfu: often zombies will retain some knowledge of their previous profession, and will execute it in rote despite their hunger for brains.
Rocksmysocks711: hmm.... interesting theory. like the very end of shaun of the dead with the cart boys at the supermarket?
pocketfu: precisely
pocketfu: but that is only if they were cart boys before they became zombies
Rocksmysocks711: oh... so what if a zombie's previous profession was to kill zombies?
pocketfu: an interesting question
pocketfu: but it doesn't matter.
pocketfu: a zombie is a zombie
pocketfu: and they must be destroyed
pocketfu: ideally with shotguns and chainsaws
Rocksmysocks711: from the dream i had last night. i have concluded that i would probably be zombied. I don't have any objects that could kill them so i'd be eaten... so basically i'd have to go to your house and if you weren't going to escape i'd ask you to kill me.
pocketfu: psh
pocketfu: you don't know the first thing about zombies, clearly
pocketfu: 1)
pocketfu: zombies can be killed with a vast array of common household items
pocketfu: 2) zombies are dumb as hell, and even a child can outsmart them.
pocketfu: 3)
pocketfu: I can't WAIT for the zombies to show up
pocketfu: that's when we have some fun
pocketfu: kill you. psh.
pocketfu: i kill zombies

Rocksmysocks711: in addition, should some choose to flee. where would be a good place to flee? I am thinking antarctica because any zombies that could be there wouldn't be too many... we could easily kill them all
pocketfu: psh
pocketfu: no way am I living in antartica
pocketfu: zombies can live in antartica
pocketfu: i'm living in seattle
pocketfu: and by living
pocketfu: i mean
pocketfu: "going around killing zombies until the undead have been purged" 
Rocksmysocks711: oh yes. and i was also thinking about that in my bed while i wasn't moving... if you had a bomb shelter you could probably wait it out... plausible?
pocketfu: yeah, if you're a huge pussy
pocketfu: i don't hide underground just because of a few damn ZOMBIES
pocketfu: that's the kind of problem you deal with head on
Rocksmysocks711: question.
Rocksmysocks711: how long would it take before the zombies died of starvation?
pocketfu: undetermined.
pocketfu: certainly not quick enough to not kill all zombies yourself.
Rocksmysocks711: well if one had a bomb shelter..would they be there for 2 weeks? or 2 months?
pocketfu: the backlash from total zombification would persist for years
pocketfu: and inaction only guarantees the spread of infection and a longer wait
pocketfu: a proactive campaign to kill all zombies is the best defense.
Rocksmysocks711: [01:57] Some Special K: response: 28 days later established 6 weeks at least (approx, i believe), it shouldn't be much longer than a human can survive, they're muscles need the same amount of energy and with a questionable possibility of nourishment however long it take a human to die
Rocksmysocks711: that's what someone said... i asked the same question
pocketfu: back
pocketfu: i think it's presumptuous to make assumptions about the "zombific germ"
pocketfu: when zombies turn to eating each other, they may survive, albeit in poorer health
pocketfu: as just one example
pocketfu: as well as the fact that a zombie infection is not instantaneous
pocketfu: they will continue to add to their ranks until controlled
pocketfu: what we see is in fact an exponential increase
pocketfu: the best response to zombie attacks is their total and utter containment and annihilation
pocketfu: if tackled properly
pocketfu: and infection can be put down and a population center can be secured
pocketfu: if allowed to grow rampant
pocketfu: which with zombies, is not difficult
pocketfu: then options are far reduced
pocketfu: requiring evacuation and tactical destruction
pocketfu: zombies are serious business.
Rocksmysocks711: well i hope they don't come... while i'll eventually be able to regain control... initially i willl panic and will need a slap to the face, so hopefully someone is there to do it, or i will certainly perish. then i'll freak out about family and whatnot. this can get complicated
pocketfu: if you see a zombie
pocketfu: get to a car
pocketfu: locate your family
pocketfu: and come find me
pocketfu: also
pocketfu: if you're near a gun store
pocketfu: a target
pocketfu: walmart
Rocksmysocks711: big 5?
pocketfu: good one
pocketfu: buy every shotgun, rifle, and shell you can afford
pocketfu: when the zombies come
pocketfu: shotgun shells will be the new currency

pocketfu: it's really a numbers game
pocketfu: so you'd ideally want everyone in a car, find families, hit up gun store simultaneously
pocketfu: then send every car to costco and buy as much food as you can
pocketfu: as well as various sundrys - batteries, lights, home depot type supplies
pocketfu: the idea here is to stay ahead of the zombie curve as it radiates outward
pocketfu: once the whole area is infected, there is no stopping it
pocketfu: and no traveling if at all possible 
Rocksmysocks711: ok, i think we should go to your dad's house... and get a boat
Rocksmysocks711: he's on the water
Rocksmysocks711: build a huge fortress
Rocksmysocks711: around the yard
pocketfu: oh yes
pocketfu: everyone works
pocketfu: you need to have the house secured within the second 24 hours
pocketfu: on the third day
pocketfu: half the people work on fortifications
pocketfu: the other two take fast, small cars
pocketfu: and lots of guns

pocketfu: and go on patrols
pocketfu: locate survivors
pocketfu: gather intel on zombie positions
pocketfu: begin to build a network
pocketfu: after that
pocketfu: you sit tight and go on zombie killing missions

Rocksmysocks711: how many people would there be? we should encourage others to build fortresses...e.g. neighbors, then we could get a network and when we run out of supplies we can build an underground tunnel that has a huge dead bolt door
pocketfu: definitely
pocketfu: you'd also want to get real friendly with whoever is in charge of supermarket, home depot, walmart, etc
pocketfu: this is why you bought all those guns
Rocksmysocks711: if i have nightmares tonight i blame you
pocketfu: just remember
pocketfu: a human is always better than a zombie
pocketfu: and
pocketfu: if you're feeling freaked out
pocketfu: just..
pocketfu: go get a chainsaw
pocketfu: and keep it in your bed
pocketfu: just in case
pocketfu: that's what i do.

2)  Practice your zombie-slaying skills.  (WARNING - HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.  ALSO SHOWS DISTURBING LACK OF CHAINSAWS.)

3)  Model a zombie infection in real time.