Twenty Onwards Media

Collector's Item

No one can deny the charm of the good old hand-painted movie posters. Despite the sleek and polished effects of Adobe (or whatever software the designers use) on the latest movie posters, the appeal of the hand-painted movie posters is still there. Bright and vibrant colors, imperfect proportions of the features, imbalanced moustaches and gawky postured heroines all add up to this unavoidable charm of this genre of art. These kind of posters undoubtedly have a more rustic and desi feel about them. Especially the posters during the 50’s and 60’s were the best of their kinds.

 

But I’m not here to write about their artistic evaluation as much has been written about this already. Many have also argued that there is nothing creative about them. I don’t want to get into this debate and would rather talk about my way of perceiving this form of visual art. The 50s boasts of numerous classics like Pyaasa,Kagaaz ke Phool,Awara and Shri 420. And, whenever I recall the names of these movies I inevitably end up conjuring up an image of their posters. To me these posters are an intrinsic part of these movies’ identity.  

 

Many consider it to be cheap and meant for the lower masses of the audience. I consider it to be refreshing than the maneuvered look of the present day movie posters. The old school posters involved the painter’s artistic implementation of the feel and look of the movie. In spite of their criticism of being low-class, they are rare classics these days. They are actually fun to look at.

......

Ok, I'll cut the crap now.

Actually I brewed up this whole above-written s***, just because I wanted to write about these inanely intense old movie posters from

Pakistan

. Yes, they have no relation as such with art. They are raw in their execution, are loud in their appearance and just give us some more reasons to make fun of our good ol’ neighbor. Have fun.        

Below is the poster of  the movie Dharti Sheran Di. This movie featured one of Pakistan's greatest movie stars, Sultan Rahi. He also happens to feature in Maula Jatt which according to many Pakistanis is the greatest action movie ever produced in Pakistan.

       

 

 

For the information of the larger mass, this is the poster of Jane Bond 009.  

And the Golden Kela goes to...

Well, the much-awaited event, the 1^st annual Golden Kela ceremony, is over. The event was enthralled with appearances made by Mr. and Mrs. Bhatti, Valentine Shipley, Amit Saigal (editor of RSJ), RJ Sarthak of 95 FM (unfortunately pet-friend Adam did not accompany him) and also the auditorium was throbbing with media and news channels.

All were present to acknowledge the 'true' talent of the Bollywood. And all of you, who were unable to make it and are eagerly waiting for the result of the 1st Golden Kela Awards, here are the winners:-

Main Category

   1. Worst Actor Male: Himesh Reshammiya for Karzzzzzzzz.

   2. Worst Actor Female: Priyanka Chopra for Dostana, Love Story 2050.

   3. Worst Film: Love Story 2050.

   4. Worst Director: Kunal Kohli for Thoda Life Thoda Magic.

   5. Worst Supporting Actor Male: Salman Khan for Hello.

   6. Worst Supporting Actor Female: Kangana Ranaut for Fashion.

   7. Worst Debutant Male: Harman Baweja.

   8. Worst Debutant Female: Anoushka Sharma.

 

Special Categories

   1. Bawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke Award:  Ram Gopal Varma for Everything He Did.

   2. When Did This Come Out Award: Wafaa.

   3. Lajja Award for Worst Treatment of a Serious Issue Award: Deshdrohi.

   4. Insensitivity Award: Fashion.

   5. Exceptional Dialogue Delivery: Tusshar Kapoor.

   6. Dara Singh award for the worst accent: Katrina Kaif.

 

Most Wanted Categories

   1. Most Atrocious Lyrics Award: Anvita Dutt Guptani for Lucky Boy from Bachna Ae Haseeno.

   2. Most Original Story: Hari Puttar.

   3. Most Irritating Song of the Year Award: Tandoori Nights from Karzzzzzzzz.

 

Links to the media coverage:-

 

 

 

The Golden Kela Awards - for the ripest tripe in Indian Cinema

Film lovers are going to see an awards show, which is altogether different from what they are used to see generally. RANDOM Magazine and the Sundaas Film Institute are organizing the first ever Golden Kela Awards (www.goldenkela.in) in Delhi, on 7th of March, 2009, at the India Habitat Centre. Golden Kela stands out because of its bizarre theme of celebrating the worst of Indian cinema. The event has proper categories like any other awards show, the only difference is instead of awarding the best performances, we award the worst ones.

Aishwarya Rai and Mallika Sherawat , both have been nominated for their acting excellence in the year 2008. And, Himesh Reshammiya has a well-deserved nomination in the Worst Actor's category.

The Golden Kela Awards are inspired by the Golden Raspberries or the Razzies of America. The nominations have been decided by the Magazine's board and the winners are going to be selected on the basis of an online poll. So, far we have received tremendous response through public voting and extensive media coverage.

Links to news stories:

Hindustan Times

Buzz 18

Mid Day

If you want to do your bit, log on to http://www.goldenkela.in/ and vote.

Mr. Jaspal Bhatti is the Chief Guest of Honor and he'll be awarded with the Life Time Achievement Award. 

Worst Actor (Male) :

Himesh Reshammiya - Karzzzz
(Monty is back! After 28 years! And he's fatter, cheaper and has weird hair! Not to mention the horrible music. Clip: Kya saboot hai tumhare paas ki tumne Ravi Varma ka khoon nahi kiya?
Hrithik Roshan - Jodhaa Akbar ( Akbar was'nt a tall, green-eyed six-packed handsome mimbo. He was short and stocky and most definitely could speak Urdu with the proper accent.)
Emraan Hashmi - Jannat (Monkey see, monkey do, monkey kiss, monkey plays bookie, monkey still remains a monkey.)
Salman Khan - Yuvvraj (Seriously Sallu bhai, why are you stuck in your ooh, aah and aooon brand of acting when you can choose to do nothing at all like Arjun Rampal or Rahul Bose? Much less work for the same results.)
Rahul Bose - Shaurya (For giving a total of two expressions for the entire duration of a high drama film)

Worst Actor (Female) :

Priyanka Chopra - Dostana, Love Story 2050
(C'mon Piggy...are you even trying? Are you trying to do something other than taking off a lot of your clothes?
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan - Jodha Akbar (For turning a strong Rajput princess (of dubious veracity) into one of Ekta Kapoor's heroines)
Kareena Kapoor - Tashan, Golmaal Returns (For being as cheap loud and obnoxious...)
Katrina Kaif - Yuvvraj (Oh what a pretty face! Oh what a pretty smile! Oh what a pretty girl! Unfortunately, acting is not skin deep)
Mallika Sherawat - Ugly aur Pagli (I wont waste precious space by saying anything about this performance!)

Rave(.D) Review...

If you are someone who lives in India and tries to keep him/herself informed about pop culture through newspapers/shitty supplements/magazines/the web then it just isn't possible that you haven't heard of Mr. Anurag Kashyap (read him here), the enfant terrible of Bollywood (or the Indian Film Industry as some stuck up purists would like to say). Everything he has done throughout his career has been so different, so controversial that you would have to be a koop manduk (a frog in a well, literally) to not have heard of this man. From writing Satya and Kaun to directing the never-released Paanch (may it not rest in peace and be brought before the audience), the delayed Black Friday and the disastrous No Smoking (I meant disastrous purely in the commercial sense...personally I think it is a brilliant movie, which wasn't well recieved because very few people could actually get it), Anurag Kashyap has managed to stay in the news (even if it's mostly for the wrong reasons). But this isn't about the man or his films. It's about the music of his films (film to be exact, but we're getting there).

For some reason I have never heard the songs of Paanch, but Black Friday with brilliant music by Indian Ocean (definitely the best Indian band ever, in my humble opinion) and the masterful score of No Smoking by Vishal Bharadwaj (a brilliant filmmaker himself) with the sublime lyrics by Gulzar Sahab (whatever happened to you in Yuvvraj, sir? Tu hi to mera dost hai?) are great favorites of mine. So I've been waiting for the music since I was told about Dev.D in an interview with the man himself. And finally, I saw this...

I was instantly hooked. The wait for the full score finally ended some days ago as the album was released on T-Series. 

I went through the album as soon as I could. And despite my high expectations, I was not the least bit disappointed. How can you be if there are 18 tracks, each of them brilliant in their own manner? Newcomer Amit Trivedi (who has also sung quite a few of the tracks) has done a great job of creating a truly contemporary Indian sound for a truly contemporary reinterpretation (hopefully...please don't dissapoint me Anurag) of the great Indian classic Devdas. The lyrics by Amitabh Bhattacharya, Shellee and some others also alternate between very contemporary (no, not like the confused verbiage of Javed Akhtar in Rock On...'Dil ye kehta hai TV Tower pe main chadh jaaoon'??? Please stick to Urdu Javed-saab) and very folksy. Enough about the album as a whole...let's get down to the individual songs...

The album opens with Aankh Micholi with a very clubby beat and nice grungy vocals by Amit. It sets the tone for most of the album with a very experimental feel (the kind of experiment which ends in a 'Eureka!', not an explosion in your beaker in the chemistry lab). Then come the two Dev Chanda themes...very beautiful and melodious (would probably work great as film score). Dhol yaara Dhol is a very Rajasthani folk tune which makes for really pleasant listening. Shilpa Rao's vocals are amazingly fresh. And then for something completely different comes Dil Mein Jaagi which sounds like something out of a Julie Andrews musical. And if you thought that the album couldn't be any more eclectic...just hold on. The very funky Duniya with amazingly randomly coherent lyrics is definitely one of the best tracks to come out of Bollywood in recent times. Ek Hulchul Si is a very conventional soft rock kind of song and probably the weakest one on the album...but even that isn't so bad to listen to. The guitar solos re nicely done. Now comes the piece de resistance! The two versions of Emosanal Atyachaar...yes that's right, the two songs in the theatrical trailer. The wonderfully kitschy Brass Band version (which reminds you of every Baraat you were part of) pays tribute to the little known sequence from the littler known film Om Darbadar.

The rock version also rocks, but the vocals could have been better. This is definitely the highest point of this great album. Then Labh Janjua kicks in with Hikknal and the two versions of Mahi Mennu (the obligatory Punjabi songs) making you wonder how many more different kinds of sounds can you expect from a single coherent album. And your wonder just keeps on increasing as the wonderfully experimental Nayan Tarse plays with your mind by merging the Hindustani classical form of Bandish and bluesy grunge seamlessly. Then the mellifluous Paayaliya soothes your senses with its constructed simplicity of sound. Pardesi has a really cool ethno-clubby sound and very urban-Haryanvi lyrics sung well by Toshi. Ranjhana leaves you wishing that it were a little longer than 1:47. Amit Trivedi takes up the vocal duties again with Saali Khushi (Note to Mr. Sameer: This is how you use curse words in a classy way...not 'tu Saala kaam se gaya'...wait a minute, am I really talking to Sameer about class? Sorry.) and does a brilliant job on yet another great track. Which brings us to the last (but not the least...sorry for the cliche, couldn't resist it) track titled Yahi Meri Zindagi which is a kind of Disney meets Bollywood (in the good way...not at all like Roadside Romeo) number sung really well by Aditi Singh Sharma. And that brings me to the end of this brief analysis of this 18-track album...and I didn't even talk about the quirky beat structures, cutting-edge fusion compositions and the rich and diverse musical and lyrical tapestries that this album weaves.

Now I just can't wait to see what Anurag Kashyap does to Devdas with this great soundtrack to supplement him. One thing is sure...it will be nothing like the extremely overrated overcolored overtreated ham-fest (for those confusing it with an event selling hamburgers, this is what I mean by ham) made by Mr. Bhansali. Getting back to the album, if you like good music of all genres Dev.D is a great album to buy. But if your idea of good music is 'Dance pe Chance maar le', then just forget about it.

Bakhtawar Bhutto's Rap Song

The term 'star-kid' is nothing unknown to us. Especially in India where we can see an entire brigade of them in film industry, politics, and some little known ones in music, business and sports. Somehow they get a natural and automatic entry into their father's or forefather's field of 'excellence'. If we look at Ranbir Kapoor, we'll see that ... there is actually nothing to look out for in him. Likewise, it is very difficult to comment on Anoushka Shankar's musical genius. Well, she does appear now and then in the page 3 of newspapers, tugging along her effeminate boyfriend and obviously not playing guitar sitar in the party circle. Not to mention that she looks more of a drag queen than an actual woman, but its entirely MY OPINION. Her contemporaries' are equally illustrious - most notable of them are the 'Bangash' brothers. Now, they are quite famous for their charm (read flirting). The elder one was more in the news because of his break-up with Avantika Haskar than for his music. So, a couple of years back they were at the verge of setting a trend of writing memoirs of their famous parents. Of them only Shankar's book 'Bapi, The Love Of My Life' somehow managed to make news.

Similarly in politics ... and I guess it's more evident in politics. The Gandhi legacy had always been there and possibly will be there in future. Sachin Pilot, Jyotiraditya Scindhia, Omar Abdullah all have strong political connection backing their career. And in a way they are setting a trend, which is a good sign, considering the boring, old look of Indian politics.

However, the thing that caught my attention (and of many others as well) is the recently out rap song by Bakhtawar Bhutto, in memory of her mother, Benazir Bhutto. You can watch the video on youtube (do ignore other search results like 'Benazir ki MOTI BETI' and stuff like that) easily. We all know how hard it is to document the achievements of the Late Bhutto considering the charges of coruption against her and Asif Ali Zardari. But one can't deny her intelligence and charisma. Bakhtawar's rap revolves around these obvious facts only. With due respect to her loss, her song comes across as an average one for its juvenile lyrics. There is a constant buzzing all throughout the video and the lyrics are scrolling at the bottom of the screen like a karaoke system. The visuals are nothing but snaps of Benazir and screen shots of her public appearances. The song at times makes you feel as if she's in a desperation to read-out the lyrics without caring for the rhythm and the beats. Though Bakhtawar will get some appreciation for being Benazir's daughter, let's just hope that this doesn't sparks off another tormentous trend of singing political rap songs in memory of the dear departed ones.

     

The Idiotification of Music Television...

I still remember the good old days of the 90s (even though I'm not sure whether I can call the 90s that, yet)...when music TV was still a new phenomenon...maybe it was the freshness of the medium...but then again, no...the quality of television programming has gone down across the board and music channels are not an exception (even though the quantum of change is much less compared to something like news channels)...MTV seems to be more interested in reality crap like Roadies and Splitsvilla and Channel V is coming up with stupid ideas like Full On...but the worst of the lot is definitely the channel that sought to be a breath of fresh air, but ended up like the stench of halitosis...it's called 9XM...

What is wrong with 9XM you ask? Well for starters, the only 'music' being played on the channel is Bolly-pop-trash (read Himesh 'melody'/ Pritam 'composition') which is at least a couple of months old (which in this day of FM radio and Ringtones and the obsession with 'Latesht' means ancient history)...and when the aural torture has stopped, the mental torture begins...because the worst thing about 9XM is not the music (which is bad enough), it is what happens in between...the atrocious animated fillers which some idiot in charge of the channel believes to be so awesomely funny and cool...i guess their jokes are written by a twelve-year old boy who's just discovering the world of humor (and probably thinks that the cutting edge of humor would be two hours of people farting)...yes, we all enjoy a nice PJ(Poor Joke, for the uninitiated) once in a while because it reminds us of a simpler time when we used to find "Bolo Pancil" "Pancil" "Tumhaari Shaadi Cancel" really funny...but it isn't exactly the kind of humor that you want to see in between really shitty songs...and that is exactly what 9XM's convoluted idea of entertainment is...if you don't believe me, I'll give you a sample...

Bheegi Billi: This character is supposed to be a wannabe, loser cat, but looks more like a wannabe, loser mouse...leaving apart the quality of animation (but while we're on the subject, I have some advice for all those trying to do animation in India...do some 2D work if you haven't got the money or skills to make 3D...people still prefer Lion King over Ice Age 2)...anybody who can identify with this character deserves to watch this channel...

The Betelnuts: These four guys who don't look, sound or act anything like the Beatles despite being named after them (something like Hari Puttar being more Home Alone than Harry Potter) take delight in plumbing new depths of attempted humorous poetry...seriously, who's writing this shit? Are they actually being paid for this? I've heard funnier shayari jokes from my 10 year old nephew...

Bakwaas Bandh Kar: When you name a show 'Stop the Bullshit!' do you expect people to laugh with you or at you? I don't really have words to describe how bad the jokes on this one are...but i'll try anyway...take Kangana Ranaut...make her 10 times stupider (if that is possible)...now imagine that she thinks she's funny and her idea of humor is to make absolutely stupid verbal puns, drag them out for as long as possible and then actually laugh at the end...that would still be better than this piece of crap that these guys are trying to pass off as humor...

Now, you may try to rationalize it and say that humor is a subjective thing and some people might actually like to be irritated and mentally tortured and that those are the same people who like the kind of music this channel airs...and you would be right...but art is not about giving in to the demands of the lowest common denominator...art is about maintaining quality while appealing to everybody and if you're doing what 9XM (or Ektaa Kapoor, Yash Raj, KJo, SRK, Himesh, Aaj Tak)  does, you're just taking the easy way out...what that eventually results in is already visible in TV News...it starts off with an Aaj Tak (still mildly tolerable) and leads to an India TV and beyond...

Lapsë Harya-Telle

Music Video Review: Sophisticated Side Ponytail

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head - Sophisticated Side Ponytail

-=Hi-Res=-

Out of Seattle, indie-disco-synth-pop band Natalie Portman's Shaved Head is called just that. They chose the name because they probably liked the way Natalie Portman looked in the mildly-misguided film adaptation of Alan Moore's V for Vendetta. I guess.

Their debut Album Glistening Pleasure (heh) features many good tunes, like for example the unapologetic Beard Lust [Look at my facial hair\(Oh man, hot damn! It's everywhere!\Where'd you get that beard?)\I grew it\(How'd you keep it so clean?)\I shampoo it\(Yeah!)], the unabashed Me + Yr Daughter [Me and Your Daughter\Never been hotter\Rocking this Party] and the voyeuristic Bedroom Costume [I'm watchin' you\Watchin' me\Watchin' you\Oh, watchin me], along with, of course, the uber-hip Sophisticated Side Ponytail [Do you like my ponytail?\(I do, I do!)\My sideways ponytail?\(It's true, it's true!)] And now, on to the Video!

The Instant Awesome^(R) video for SSP is made by that go, Seattle based Music Video ... Guy(s?), who currently have two videos up on their site (the other one being Jerk it by Thunderheist.) Starring in the video is of course Natalie Portman's Shaved Head (The Band not the Head) and like what most of NPSH's music is made for, they are dancing in it. Filled with chaotic theoretical activity the video is animated with a fast moving collage of color and energy, rhythmically changing patterns of calculated randomness, images of immediate obfuscation played to a backing beat of polyrhythms and synthesizers - thus doing a good job of visually representing the song's lyrics.

A Sample of which - Do you wanna see Shamu with me?
                                         (Yes, I do. I love Shamu)  
                                         Do you wanna go to the Oyster Fest?
                                         (Yes, oh yes! That's the best!)
                                         Do you wanna go on tilt-a-whirl?
                                         (Come on girl, 'till you hurl.)

With catchy call-and-response lyrics like that and synth-pop beats that make you want to jump the video does an excellent job of showing the pace and energy of the song. An example of how the video follows the tempo closely is the way it seamlessly slows down as the song goes into the brief synth-calypso coda and then surges back again as it goes back to its hand-clapping, green screening awesomeness. But seriously now, the video is a great accompaniment to an awesome song and I recommend it to anyone and everyone with a penchant for Electronica music videos, swirly graphics and glowy eyes.

Next Up: Britney's New Shades' Review!

The Unsung Stallions

Back in 2006, when Gangster was released, almost the entire nation swore by the musical genius of Pritam Chakraborty. If Ya Ali introduced an obscure but talented Zubeen Garg, then James (who sang Bheegi Bheegi Si) changed the quintessential indifferent attitude of Indians towards Bangladeshis. Seemingly everything was going well, until a little piece of news marred all the merry-making. Pritam had allegedly lifted the music of a Bangla-band called Mohiner Ghoraguli (Mohin’s Horses). Well, that was just the beginning of Pritam’s illustrious music-lifting career, but then it’s a different story all together and much written about at the same time.

 It can’t be said for sure how many people searched the net for Mohiner Ghoraguli, but I think quite a few of them did, being intrigued by the name of the band. With due respect to the intellect and ‘general knowledge’ of the North Indians, most of them know nothing aboutBengal except Roshogolla (horribly pronounced by north Indians when they try to fake the Bengali accent with a pinch of mockery), and Mishti Doi (Sweet Curd - No argument here as it’s all the same everywhere). There are a few more – Bengali men are all duffers with oily hair, wearing dhoti, who are extremely bad in speaking Hindi (as if all Hindi-speaking men can speak proper Bengali!), and are famous throughout the nation as ‘mama’s boys’ and ‘hen-pecked husbands’. Considering these stereotypes, I guess it would be too much of a thing to gulp down if I say that India’s first-ever rock band was formed in this place. Yes, it’s Mohiner Ghoraguli – which shone and blazed away like a meteorite.

 

During the 70s, music was everything that came out of Bollywood. Bengal itself was suffering from stagnation in music. At that point of time Gautam Chattopadhyay gave a serious jolt to the listeners with his powerful lyrics, which were about the everyday Indian - Politics, love, hope, loneliness, Kolkata. Very trivial subjects, but fiercely real. They broke the conventions by introducing instruments like piano and violin in their music, which was a rare combination of Baul and Western Classical compositions.  

But probably people were not yet ready to accept such radical experiments. The group produced their first 3 vinyl records borrowing money from their family and kabulliwaalahs. Their combination of everyday life, angst, disillusionment, pangs of frustration was a far-cry from the regular filmy songs. They ended up with no takers. Result – the group was dissolved in 1981. I remember listening to their Prithibita Naki Chhoto Hote Hote (The World is Getting Smaller Every Day) which sings of the growing urban alienation because of TV and cable network.

But, I don’t mean to write the story of the rise fall of the band. I’m not even trying to pull these guys out of obscurity (They don’t give a damn about it and they are happy being known to their kind of audience). It’s just that I felt like talking about them out of the frustration I feel when I see people yelling their lungs out in the name of rock music. Not to mention the inane lyrics (not all of them). It’s a fact that we never had any band as such in India. Everything musically creative is expected out of the films and the albums released by playback singers. Moreover, our ignorance of other regional languages is one of the reasons why Mohiner Ghoraguli failed to get public attention. One can hear some of the songs on youtube, but can’t enjoy the story crafted by the lyrics. And translations don’t retain the beauty of the original compositions.

 But mostly I meant to rectify the common notion about the Bengalis – They are in no way just out and out bumbling idiots. At least, not all of them are. I guess every community has its own share of duffers. So Bengal is not just about ‘sweet and fish’ eating people, termagant mothers who make ‘chickens’ out of their sons, and vociferous leaders who are obsessed with everything ‘red’. Bengal has something more to offer – India’s first ever Rock band.

The band reunited after 25-years in 1997 and performed in Bangalore. This was probably their first performance outside West Bengal.

Tuning Into 'Bobby Long'

I know you rock music lovers who are crazy about their collection, will show off their taste ranging from the good old Led Zeppelin to contemporary skull-crushing Rammstein. Then there’ll be others who will invite you to check out their special vintage collection comprising of artists like Dean Martin and Kishore Kumar. Such people may even be proud to share trivia like how Amitabh Bachchan's character ended up having the name Anthony Gonsalves in the movie Amar Akbar Anthony. Incidentally, the name was given as a tribute to Mr. Gonsalves by the film’s most popular Bollywood composer duo Laxmikant-Pyarelal. (Anthony Gonsalves was Pyarelal’s music teacher from Goa.)

No matter what genre of music you enjoy listening to, the music album of Love Song for Bobby Long, in my opinion, is a must have in your collection. It’s not an album that you can boast about in the public. Honestly, it doesn’t even consist of artists that are as famous as your ‘favorite’ Britney Spears or Michael Jackson. But, I would still strongly recommend this album for its sheer musical simplicity and beautifully written lyrics.

The album goes with every mood and under any circumstance (even if you are sweating and traveling in a crowded bus. Or, even worse, spending a night in your house when there’s no electrical power; shit scared and shivering due to the freezing temperature on Christmas). Whether you are straight, gay, lesbian; in love or heart broken, you can still listen to the album at any time of the day and for every reason. All you need is love for music; and if you appreciate good stuff, you will surely listen to this one not just once, but over and over again.