Twenty Onwards Media

Maula Jatt - An Unforgettable Experience

I could not understand a single word of those chaste Punjabi dialogues.  But still I was completely knocked out by what I saw in bits and pieces of this action-packed Lollywood masala movie. Khuda Ke Liye may have given an identity to Pakistani movies, but the experience would be incomplete if you don't watch Maula Jatt. You think I'm exaggerating, huh? Then check out the movie in Youtube where an ardent fan has uploaded the movie for the non-believers.

As I would not like to divulge much about the movie, I will simply say that it's a classic tale of love, romance, revenge and the victory of good over the evil ... Go watch the movie online and thank me later...

You still there??? Ok, let me entice you a li'l more. Maula Jatt is this village guy, who is basically the Jatt version of Superman. He performs all these stunts with his weapon which is called gandaasa. Now, don't ask me what is a gandaasa actually. As per my observation it's a magnified version of axe. And, there is Noorie Nutt (it's spelt Nath somewhere), the baddie who is always at the look out for raping someone and this leads to his clash with Maula Jatt.

So, there are lot of blood, ripped off limbs flying in the air and bits of human intestines dangling from Maula's gandaasa. The film has it's touching moments, when Maula appears from nowhere everytime his Bharjai is in need of some sort of help. And for you perverts out there, there is even an item number by Daro Nathni (one of the lust interests of Noorie Nutt), when Maula beats the hell out of the villain who chased her on a horse throughout the village for nearly 10 mins of screen time.

Have look at this iconic poster of the movie:

The Golden Kela Awards - for the ripest tripe in Indian Cinema

Film lovers are going to see an awards show, which is altogether different from what they are used to see generally. RANDOM Magazine and the Sundaas Film Institute are organizing the first ever Golden Kela Awards (www.goldenkela.in) in Delhi, on 7th of March, 2009, at the India Habitat Centre. Golden Kela stands out because of its bizarre theme of celebrating the worst of Indian cinema. The event has proper categories like any other awards show, the only difference is instead of awarding the best performances, we award the worst ones.

Aishwarya Rai and Mallika Sherawat , both have been nominated for their acting excellence in the year 2008. And, Himesh Reshammiya has a well-deserved nomination in the Worst Actor's category.

The Golden Kela Awards are inspired by the Golden Raspberries or the Razzies of America. The nominations have been decided by the Magazine's board and the winners are going to be selected on the basis of an online poll. So, far we have received tremendous response through public voting and extensive media coverage.

Links to news stories:

Hindustan Times

Buzz 18

Mid Day

If you want to do your bit, log on to http://www.goldenkela.in/ and vote.

Mr. Jaspal Bhatti is the Chief Guest of Honor and he'll be awarded with the Life Time Achievement Award. 

Worst Actor (Male) :

Himesh Reshammiya - Karzzzz
(Monty is back! After 28 years! And he's fatter, cheaper and has weird hair! Not to mention the horrible music. Clip: Kya saboot hai tumhare paas ki tumne Ravi Varma ka khoon nahi kiya?
Hrithik Roshan - Jodhaa Akbar ( Akbar was'nt a tall, green-eyed six-packed handsome mimbo. He was short and stocky and most definitely could speak Urdu with the proper accent.)
Emraan Hashmi - Jannat (Monkey see, monkey do, monkey kiss, monkey plays bookie, monkey still remains a monkey.)
Salman Khan - Yuvvraj (Seriously Sallu bhai, why are you stuck in your ooh, aah and aooon brand of acting when you can choose to do nothing at all like Arjun Rampal or Rahul Bose? Much less work for the same results.)
Rahul Bose - Shaurya (For giving a total of two expressions for the entire duration of a high drama film)

Worst Actor (Female) :

Priyanka Chopra - Dostana, Love Story 2050
(C'mon Piggy...are you even trying? Are you trying to do something other than taking off a lot of your clothes?
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan - Jodha Akbar (For turning a strong Rajput princess (of dubious veracity) into one of Ekta Kapoor's heroines)
Kareena Kapoor - Tashan, Golmaal Returns (For being as cheap loud and obnoxious...)
Katrina Kaif - Yuvvraj (Oh what a pretty face! Oh what a pretty smile! Oh what a pretty girl! Unfortunately, acting is not skin deep)
Mallika Sherawat - Ugly aur Pagli (I wont waste precious space by saying anything about this performance!)

Just when you thought it was all about serious stuff ...

Just when you thought that daily soaps were the greatest levelers, making your mother, wife, mother-in-law and your girlfriend for an hour or so to discuss the virtues of Tulsi-Parvati or to speculate the results of the current reality shows, there’s something brewing inside the TV itself to challenge the title. Yes, I know it all seemed like a miracle to you and your neighbor and fellow countrymen giving rise to this myth. But a closer look will prove the invalidity of your belief. Like any disbeliever (infidel!!!) you will loath my arguments. But if you are a TV-buff, then you would give me a patient hearing.  

See, I won’t go into analyzing the merits of daily soap. There’s no point. Rather I would talk about the thing I want to talk about. Most of us have been lectured by our parents to watch news regularly. I don’t know about you, but I certainly watched other stuff more than news. Come on, back then movies and FTV were more interesting than news. But the present-day news channels are proving our parents right. F**k comedy shows, news channels rock these days.

The seeds of revolution were planted when Aajtak was conceived by some wise old men (and women may be … I’m not too sure). Since, that time it has provided us with our rightful supply of ‘infotainment’. Starting from the plight of a cat stuck in the roof, they went that extra mile to report about the missing dog of the Commissioner. I guess many of you still remember the ticker ‘Commissioner ka kutta mila’ on your TV screen. 

 

 

This is not the end of it as legacy is not created at the snap of a finger like you thought. Remember Muhnochwa? In case you don’t, I’m sorry I can’t help as there are no videos available on youtube to support my claim. Better ask your pados ke Uncle ji or your TV-addict know-it-all friend who cares about anything and everything going in the TV. Not only this, it catapulted the channel to nation-wide fame and gave India her journalistic icon in the name of Deepak Chaurasia. Who can forget his reporting of Pramod Mahajan’s murder? He went on describing his ‘closeness’ with the family and denied that there was any brother by the name of Praveen. His quote, ‘He seems to be a cousin of Pramod.’

There was no one challenging the popularity and credentials of Aajtak, till India TV showed up in the field. And, I must say, what inspiration they have taken from the veterans of the small-screen .... (to be contd.)  

 

Bakhtawar Bhutto's Rap Song

The term 'star-kid' is nothing unknown to us. Especially in India where we can see an entire brigade of them in film industry, politics, and some little known ones in music, business and sports. Somehow they get a natural and automatic entry into their father's or forefather's field of 'excellence'. If we look at Ranbir Kapoor, we'll see that ... there is actually nothing to look out for in him. Likewise, it is very difficult to comment on Anoushka Shankar's musical genius. Well, she does appear now and then in the page 3 of newspapers, tugging along her effeminate boyfriend and obviously not playing guitar sitar in the party circle. Not to mention that she looks more of a drag queen than an actual woman, but its entirely MY OPINION. Her contemporaries' are equally illustrious - most notable of them are the 'Bangash' brothers. Now, they are quite famous for their charm (read flirting). The elder one was more in the news because of his break-up with Avantika Haskar than for his music. So, a couple of years back they were at the verge of setting a trend of writing memoirs of their famous parents. Of them only Shankar's book 'Bapi, The Love Of My Life' somehow managed to make news.

Similarly in politics ... and I guess it's more evident in politics. The Gandhi legacy had always been there and possibly will be there in future. Sachin Pilot, Jyotiraditya Scindhia, Omar Abdullah all have strong political connection backing their career. And in a way they are setting a trend, which is a good sign, considering the boring, old look of Indian politics.

However, the thing that caught my attention (and of many others as well) is the recently out rap song by Bakhtawar Bhutto, in memory of her mother, Benazir Bhutto. You can watch the video on youtube (do ignore other search results like 'Benazir ki MOTI BETI' and stuff like that) easily. We all know how hard it is to document the achievements of the Late Bhutto considering the charges of coruption against her and Asif Ali Zardari. But one can't deny her intelligence and charisma. Bakhtawar's rap revolves around these obvious facts only. With due respect to her loss, her song comes across as an average one for its juvenile lyrics. There is a constant buzzing all throughout the video and the lyrics are scrolling at the bottom of the screen like a karaoke system. The visuals are nothing but snaps of Benazir and screen shots of her public appearances. The song at times makes you feel as if she's in a desperation to read-out the lyrics without caring for the rhythm and the beats. Though Bakhtawar will get some appreciation for being Benazir's daughter, let's just hope that this doesn't sparks off another tormentous trend of singing political rap songs in memory of the dear departed ones.

     

Al Gore's sacrifice

EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

"I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

Want to know more about Gore's incredible feat? Check it out:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/al_gore_places_infant_son_in

Up, Up and away!

Germans Not Amused, Nor The French

And Now, From 'Rowan Atkinson Live In Belfast',

'I Hate The French' by Howard Goodall

Would like to give out your number to about 2 million people

Well, the front page story on the Times of India today was about a fool who spent Rs. 1.5Million on getting a exclusive cellphone number in an auction. And in their great wisdom the paper printed the fancy number for their millions of readers to read and maybe drunk dial.

This guy is surely going to get some interesting calls on his new number.

Too Sexy for my Bus!

In the course of coursing through the morning paper i came across an interesting piece of news.
[Note: Confirm its interesting nature by clicking on the link above before reading ahead.]
Thank God(if He/She/It exists) the driver was German and spoke his mind about the distraction caused. Because if this were to happen in a DTC bus the driver would ogle away and cause an accident which will not even be noticed by the male passengers of the bus...because they'd be ogling too.

How to prepare for an Alien Invasion

This is Yahoo's Top 5 odd news story of the day . I had nothing better to do right now...

For Those Who Missed It

BBC Commentator, Paul Danahar analyzes the recent bruhaha about Shilpa Shetty on the UK Big Brother quite straightforwardly. Despite some effigy burning, the Indian response seemed mature and restrained. Though, anyone in India being shocked over people facing racism overseas needs to get out more if possible.